Self-Esteem

We hear people, the media and psychotherapists talk about the importance of self-esteem but do we really understand what it is? Self-esteem is a term describing a complex process of how we perceive ourselves, our personality traits, or capabilities; as well as our fit in our intimate, family, social, professional circle and global value, or identity. Historically, self-esteem has never been more complex, important and multifaceted as it is now. There are so many variables that can define, and influence our self-esteem such as social media, the current social model of beauty/intelligence/success, our parents/friends/school/cultural environment.

A significant number of individuals especially young teenagers and adults are more prone to the aforementioned influential sources that act, or are perceived as the experts of what is valuable, or what constitutes success, or beauty but lack the sophistication, expertise, and education to determine social norms and standards of success/recognition/importance. Additionally, kindness, compassion, affection and care towards the self and others rarely feature in the long list of “things” individuals need to be, or achieve (such as perfect physic, toned, as beautiful as the top models, graduating from an Ivy League university, earning millions of dollars per year, owning a yacht, driving a luxury car, wearing designer clothes, being always happy and social etc.).

Young people in particular appear to be confused regarding what is appropriate to achieve, be, look like, and what goals should they set for their lives. They are often swayed by the unreasonable and void of any substance demands of the current social media as well as the shifting social value and moral system.

How can we define self-esteem and create a healthy sense of self?

Self-esteem is generally understood to be a personality trait. However, it is more than just an inherent sense of self worth. It includes confidence in one’s own abilities and is rooted in feelings of being worthy, deserving, and assertive of one’s own right to happiness. An individual with a healthy amount of self-esteem would have a realistic yet positive self-image regardless of social pressure to conform to unhealthy socially constructed values. I urge you to create your own value and moral system regarding the areas you want to thrive in. It is not important to adhere to the contemporary social values and the often superficial templates that social media are creating; which are frequently transient. There is value in being unique and following your own aspirations of success, happiness, and healthy emotional/intimate relationships. Redefine what is vital for your wellbeing. Create a list of all the values, achievements, feelings, and life processes that are crucial to you. Let your values guide you.

However, the notion of a ‘healthy amount of self-esteem’ is a precarious balance between the two extreme ends of the spectrum. In some cases, someone with low self-esteem has a tendency for developing problems such as depression, anxiety, feelings of emptiness/anhedonia, and generalized feelings of unfulfillment. An extreme case of superficial high self-esteem could result in mental disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs depicts self-esteem as one of the core human values that need to be in balance in order to achieve self actualisation which can be seen as fulfilling one’s highest potential. Studies show that self-esteem increases from adolescence to middle adulthood, peaking at the age of 50 or 60 before rapidly decreasing into old age (Orth & Robins, 2014). Self-esteem has been shown to be a relatively stable trait however, it can be manipulated with conscious effort. Hence, this trajectory of increasing self-esteem is a key period of development as individuals need to take purposeful steps to maximise it. Parenting plays an important role in the development of self-esteem. However, individuals who developed and unhealthy sense of self, can always alter and enhance their self-esteem through psychotherapy, or other methods of self-enhancement..

Works Cited
Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2014). The Development of Self-Esteem. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23(5), 381–387. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721414547414

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